Modesty Takes a Holiday or How Sarah's Getting Her Groove Back

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson


I've struggled with insecurity all of my life. My perception of myself has always been based on other people's perceptions of me. For every five compliments I received, there was always one criticism, and I would feed off that criticism for a long time afterward, until there was a new negative for me to chew on. There's not a person living today that can beat up on me better than I can on myself. I believed that I deserved all the things going wrong in my life.
That I deserved to be left multiple times because I just wasn't good enough. I deserved to feel unwanted because I wasn't pretty, thin, or desireable enough. I deserved to be lied to and humiliated because I wasn't smart enough or worth coming home to. I deserved to never be sure of someone's love because there was obviously something innately unloveable and unworthy of love about me.

Well, I'm here to tell you that that's all a crock of s#!%.

I am not that person. Not even close.

And to anyone who I may have given that impression to over the years, I apologize. My only excuse is that for a long time I saw that distorted reflection of myself and thought that it was real and unwittingly let others believe it, too.
But the truth is in the quote above.

I am brilliant.
Not just smart, mind you, but brilliant. The good people of Jeopardy and MENSA are probably on their way over right now. I am creative and have a good amount of common sense. Just because I expected the same honesty I gave to others does not make me stupid.

I am gorgeous.
And not just kind of cute, which was as far as I'd ever let myself think. The same God who created glittering expanses of jewel-toned oceans and mountains that reach up past the clouds and every fiery star in the heavens is the same one who made me.

I am talented.
In so many ways. I can sing on key and harmonize. I can write and people actually understand and connect with it. I'm funny and clever. I can take care of four kids and not go completely insane. I can smile and make someone's day.

I am fabulous.
It means incredible. Marvelous. Superb. Exceptional. I am a loving, caring and kind person. I have grace under pressure. I am brave, strong and powerful. I have been blindsided, caught off guard and blatantly lied to, and have risen from it each time. A little the worse for wear, sometimes, but stronger and wiser. I give love freely and deserve it in return.

I don't expect my life to suddenly be free of all trouble because I finally accept these things. Maybe I shouldn't want it to. How can people properly see the light God made me to be if there isn't some adversity to shine through?

And I was made to shine.

Not a soft, subtle glow like a nightlight - barely driving the shadows away, but a blinding, blazing radiance that beats back the fear and darkness.

And who knows? Perhaps by seeing my light, others will let theirs shine, too.

Because we all deserve to shine.

Not Just Another Day

For many of you, today is just a regular day. Some of you will go to church, some of you will sleep in. Some of you will celebrate Father's Day, some will just kick back. And some will be fighting for their freedom. Some will mourn the loss of family members struck down in protest. Some will march, while others will find a way to let the world know of what is happening to them.

Today is not just another day for the people in Iran.

I have been following these events as they've unfolded since last week, when the Iranian president was re-elected by an 11 million vote margin. The people of Iran are demanding a recount and have been protesting the results since last Friday. However, over the past week, things in that country have been escalating. Riots, tear gas, Embassies taking in the wounded, people chanting for freedom, cries of "Allahu Akhbar--God is Great" can be heard from the rooftops.

But today, I've practically been glued to my computer, trying to get as much information as I can. Twitter, Facebook, AW, the NY Times, etc. All over the world, people have been showing their support and solidarity for the Iranian people.

But not so much here in America.

I went on Facebook to see what the people I know were saying about this situation and was surprised and discouraged to see that out of all my friends that were updating, only one had mentioned anything about it. It would seem that a lot of Americans don't understand that they are also global citizens. We all know about Jon and Kate, but how many actually know what's going on in Iran? The sad answer to these questions is not as many as should.

Many of the people here who are aware are saying disparaging things about the President's response to the situation. Others are slamming Sen. McCain for his slams against the president. This situation is NOT about us! There is no partisanship, there is no political gain to be had. There is only support for those people who are putting their lives on the line to fight for the same kind of freedoms that we fought for ourselves over 200 years ago.

You may be saying to yourself, "Why should I care? I don't know anyone over there." or "What can I do? I'm half a world away." It's simple really. Just knowing what's going on is the first step. We HAVE to realize that the world we live in is smaller than we think. The little things you do today may end up having a life changing effect on someone tomorrow. Don't close your eyes to the world around you. Just hearing a person's story means that you are now their witness. They can know that their struggle is not in vain because their voice has been heard. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can do nothing.

Today I truly feel like a writer because I believe that my voice can help turn the tide on this part of history. Will you do the same?

Don't let today be just another day. Be someone's witness. Be a voice. Be an instrument for change.


"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."
Edmund Burke
(Thanks for the quote, Mac.)